Why Couldn’t I Have Done This?

I review loads of messaging for clients. This includes posts, landing pages, newsletters, and even follow-up messages to their potential clients. Last week, a client wanted help with crafting a message to send to new followers on Instagram.

They had two goals:

1. Increase the response rate compared to the current message they were using.
2. Drive folks to a free challenge they're currently running.

After asking them a few questions on a group coaching call, I gave them a high-level outline of how they might structure the message. The next day, they shared a draft and asked for feedback. I went through it in detail, made suggested edits, as well as put comments that gave the reasoning behind each change.

This was their reaction...

Here's three of the suggestions I gave them, including the reasoning behind them, so you can improve your messaging, too.

1. Write How You Speak

Unless your brand is super button-up or your clients are very formal in their communication style, write in a conversational tone. It makes you feel more human, while making your message more inviting.

Examples...

• Saying "hey" instead of "hi" or "hello"

• Using contractions (writing "it's" instead of "it is")

• Breaking grammar rules such as starting a sentence with "because"

In this particular message, one of the changes I made was switching the words "with a collective" to "with a group of people". It means the same thing but sounds way more conversational.

2. Watch Your Labels

Labels are powerful. People love living up to positive ones such as being called "thoughtful", "self-aware", or seeming like "someone who cares about their family". But if you're not careful, you can unintentionally label folks negatively.

In this case, they had written "Thanks for following us".

It was a way of thanking them while acknowledging that the other person had taken the initiative. The problem is that it also subtly labels them as a "follower". No one wants to be a follower. So I changed it to "thanks for the follow". That small tweak frames it more as an individual action they took vs them "being a follower".

3. Address the Fear of Being Pitched

Can you open your DMs or email without getting pitch-slapped by some eager-beaver swinging their pitch in your face? It sucks. So folks naturally have their guard up.

Call out that it isn't a pitch so they can relax a bit.

This is also something I frequently do when I'm sending a new connection request on LinkedIn. It's often met with relief and appreciation. I get a lot of replies from strangers simply because I address their fear of getting slapped with another pitch.

See you next Saturday.

I lied a couple weeks ago: I said that it was your last chance to get into my Growth Habit Crew community at the current price because it was getting an overhaul (and the price was going up). The truth? It's taking more time to make + launch the changes than I expected. So while the price will be drastically increasing soon, we'll be doing one final enrollment at the founding members' price in the coming weeks. You can check it out + apply here.